Sunday, 4 December 2011

Question Time - 10 Things

The very imaginative Mummy Plum has asked me to reveal 10 things about myself in ...

...... QUESTION TIME .....

THE RULES 

1) Answer 10 questions
2) Tag someone to do the same
3) Return to the original blog post when you have completed your 10 questions and comment, so we can all find out more about our fellow bloggers.

1. Describe myself in seven(ish) words
5' 3", honest, chit-chatty, humorous, stubborn custard fiend

2. What keeps you awake at night?
I sleep lighter than a feather. Anything stirs me from my slumber; Younger Dad breathing, Younger Dad snoring, Younger Dad trumping, mice getting high on crumbs in the kitchen and any nocturnal squeal from Little A. I also have this habit of waking up just before Little A cries out in the dark. It must be that psychic mummy baby connection thing.

3. Who would you like to be and why?
I sometimes fantasise about a brighter, energised, joyous, fully awake me in a parallel universe. In this reality I am not a mum. I feel ALIVE.  I am pursuing a fulfilling career as a therapist. I have time for exercise and spiritual pursuits like yoga, tai chi and meditation. I eat freshly prepared organic meals everyday. I travel and explore the world further than my local high street. I enjoy quality time with Younger Dad and all our friends. I can come and go as I please and stay up into the wee hours enjoying film after film or the stimulation of a page turning novel or revel in sparky conversation around a dinner lit kitchen table.

I love Little A with all my heart but I often miss my old life dearly. I miss my me time. When I reflect upon my alternate reality I realise that with a little patience, imagination, and magic dust I could conjure some of it into this existence with Little A.  It's a question of intent and balancing my priorities.

4. What are you wearing now?
I am going to describe this from the bottom up.  I am wearing my dark brown year old Ugg boots of which the right boot already has a small hole over the big toe much to my continual annoyance. My legs are clothed in an old pair of dark blue jeans and my torso is masked by a two year old Mothercare M2B black and grey stripped maternity top. Nice.  I really do need some new clothes.

I am also being 'held up' by a pair of granny sized pants which hark back to my post c-section op days and a discoloured, totally unattractive nursing bra, yes, 22 months on my hefty GG mummy boobies are still lactating and Little A can still be found propped up at the milk bar mornings, nap times and last orders before bedtime. I guess the milky bar is on me then as Little A doesn't have a tab.  Anyways my 'shabby chic' is off set by make up disguising my haggard face although there's no concealing the puffy bags pulling down my eyes like the weight of the Atlantic sinking the Titanic. I am also wearing my shoulder length mousy hair in a high pony tail.

5. What scares you?
The thought of any harm coming to Little A terrifies me. For over a year I was plagued by vivid intrusive thoughts of macabre things happening to her like being carried away by rats, a stranger breaking in and kidnapping her in the dead of night, or of her falling into a fire and burning to death. It makes me shudder just writing that. These intense thoughts were just one of the variety of PTSD symptoms I experienced since Little A's birth.  Fortunately the trauma focused therapy (EMDR) I am currently having has made a very positive difference. I can honestly say I am no longer traumatised and the thoughts are evaporating like cotton wool clouds on a blue Summers day.

6. What is the best and the worst thing about blogging?
Blogging is great for unscrambling myself and processing my thoughts and feelings. I'm finding it a really beneficial creative outlet. Coming from a therapist, its very good therapy. I've also come into contact with some wonderful women who have really brightened up my life. You know who you are ladies! In some aspects blogging has offered more support than my NCT group. I can really relate to the blogs I read. I love their honesty, openness and authenticity. I feel part of a wider community of wonderful mothers who are doing their best to understand themselves and better their lives.

The worst has to be what I am struggling with at the moment, the dreaded bloggers block.  I am finding it really hard to write.  My mind has transformed into a barren dusty windswept desert devoid of an inspiration and the oasis of words, pictures and ideas which I seek is shrouded in a fug of woolly mist. There is probably so much I could talk about but I am finding it a challenge to simply tap out that first sentence. Help!

7. What was the last website you looked at?
Amazon which is probably one of the best sites when it comes to the annual slog of Christmas shopping.

8. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I would stop being so hard on my myself and mother myself a lot more.

9. Slankets: Yes or No.
I had no idea what one of these was until I just had a peek on Amazon.  Very attractive. Some even come with ergonomic pockets to elegantly house a remote control in. Will be seducing Younger Dad in one of these. Once its on, how do you get it off? Anyways whats wrong with a warming dressing gown and bed socks.

10. Tell us something about the person who tagged you.
Mummy Plum writes a gorgeously descriptive blog. Even though she remains anonymous you really get a sense of her behind her colourful words. She's sensitive, thoughtful and mature. Personally I think she should seriously consider turning her eloquent hand to fiction.  Two posts I thoroughly enjoyed were Getting My Groove Back: A Day to Myself and Making Friends: A Tale Of The Coffee Shop Girl. She's also project managing the restoration of the West London equivalent of Hogwarts affectionately known by her as Faulty Towers.

I’m tagging another fantastic blog to take the baton and write to the finishing line - The Bling Buoy.

4 comments:

  1. Anyone who can write "shrouded in a fug of woolly mist" isn't going to be blocked for long.

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  2. If my writer's block manifested like yours has then I would be a very happy writer indeed! Sigh. This is beautiful. And funny. And it inspired me so much that I ran off with the baton and wrote my own 10 things.... without reading the instructions properly. I'll send you a link when I get a wave of bravado big enough to hit the "publish" button...

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  3. Ah, Older Mum...I just knew you'd do justice to the ten questions! Masterfully answered. I'm with you on the light sleeping, and the fear of anything happening to my wee one too. Bravo for continuing with the breastfeeding so long. That's amazing. I just limped over the year and I was so ready to give up by then.
    I always love reading your posts. Apart from anything else, they are wonderfully written. I wish I could write like you!
    Thank you for the lovely comments too x

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  4. Love your 10 things - I love custard too, I have vivid imaginings of harm coming to my child, I also wake just before he does. Like the idea of the alternate reality with Little A. - I'm sure it does take patience and magic dust, but I'm sure it is possible. I hope it is, anyway. I love MummyPlum's coffee shop girl too and am desperate to hear the next instalment.

    ReplyDelete

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