Monday, 14 May 2012

100 Word Challenge - The Closing Hand

"Can I get you anything love?"

David cocked his head at the waitress trying to ignore the nauseating brilliance of her yellow cotton blouse.

"Latte and croissant."

He stared at the Apple folded on the table and with resignation opened it for the last time.

The news was the same. Markets crashing. Banks collapsing.

He'd built an empire once. And then destroyed lives.

Now they were coming after him.

But he would play the final card. The closing hand.

For a brief moment he felt omnipotent. Enormous.

Then shrank into irrelevance.

Soon he would taste liberty.

Escape from his pathetic shell.


I'm linking up with JB47's 100 Word Challenge. This week's prompt was the inclusion of four words; apple, empire, enormous, liberty and yellow. 




30 comments:

  1. Now this is one that really makes me want to read on. Just add 20 more chapters and Jeffrey Archer will have to eat his heart out!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great characterisation here. I feel as if I know so much about this man just from watching him over breakfast.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Its funny what your mind projects!

      Delete
  3. I do hope he's not going to end it all. I enjoyed this, seamless inclusion of each of the prompts. Great one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Sandra. Unfortunately I think its night night for him.

      Delete
  4. I'm amazed by how well you write such interesting stories from ordinary prompts. Great story, I'm really enjoying these. Polly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Polly. Thank you so much. I'm enjoying wrapping the story around the prompts.

      Delete
  5. Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant! Now we have been transported back to the real reason he took his life, but will Charlotte ever find this out or will she blame herself forever? NEED MORE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha ha! Thank you. We will have to see. The prompts seem to be writing this thing.

      Delete
  6. Fantastic - I fear for him imminent demise :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you ... and it is imminent.

      Delete
  7. This is fantastic. Your pieces keep getting better and better. Love the characters x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. That is very kind. The story seems to be writing itself.

      Delete
  8. I love it. You really managed to convey what was going on inside his head in so few words. Looking forward to the next installment!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! He's not very happy is he? And perhaps a tad paranoid. Lets see what the prompts do next ...

      Delete
  9. Oh goodness poor man, what is he going to do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its looking like he may end it ...

      Delete
  10. Play the markets and then bugger off when things go pear-shaped. How typical. I confess that I for my part find it hard to empathise with the man. While it's clear that he is about to commit suicide, I can't really feel his pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually agree with you, I want my readers to feel ambivalent about this character.

      Delete
  11. brilliant! love how you set the scene so quick! x

    ReplyDelete
  12. So why does Charlotte think that it is her fault? Write on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We shall see .... lets see what dice the prompts throw!

      Delete
  13. I love reading your 100 word challenges! Your creative flair never fails. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aaaaah ... thank you. I'm enjoying these too!

      Delete
  14. GSussex

    That's really sad . . . I fear a pill and silence . . .
    Well written!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Yes, something of that nature ...

      Delete
  15. DancingInTheRain21 May 2012 at 22:48

    I got so involved in his story, it took me a while to link it back to guilt-ridden Charlotte. This is great - a natural use of the prompts, a little story on its own and simultaneously part of a serial through which we already know what happens to him. Great work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much! I am enoying how this story is getting told via th prompts ... I've had to shift direction a couple of times!

      Delete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...