Saturday 14 December 2013

Winter Sun


'Mummy, don't be afraid, flying is fun.'

And when I looked out of the window, down below seemed very, very far down indeed; shades of weak tea brown, white spots, threaded black lines. Over a Spanish mountain range I thought I saw a giant alligator etched in its peaks. Shapes in the earth, not in the clouds. I was nervous. Over an hour in I was still wearing the seat belt. This was my first flight since the honeymoon. It didn't matter then, it was just Younger Dad and me. Now there was Little A to consider; all week I'd worried about the plane crashing, that sequence from Flight on auto replay, over and over. I couldn't be sure if the pilot steering our plane - flight something, something, something, bound for Lanzarote - had the same skills as Denzel Washington.

How would I save Little A?

And I wasn't ready to die. My novel wasn't finished, not even the first draft.  

On the toilet, the plane hit turbulence; one hand clung to the sink, an elbow propped against the opposite wall. Balanced. Just. I couldn't concentrate, that annoying ping-pong sound and red - red for danger - image of the seat belt sign.

I returned to my seat shaken. Certainly not soothed.

'Don't worry Mummy, it's just a bit bumpy.'

And if in panic, boiled travel sweets are the best remedy by far. Half the tin had disappeared by the time the plane circled over the volcanic land of seal skin grey. Welcome to Espana.


Lanzarote is made for moon people. If you took a small jump, you might float in the air, weightless. The villages - tightly clustered, their low lying white buildings brightly off set by their dark, arid surroundings - like the out postings of an interplanetary mission. There is an other worldly beauty and grace here, empty of complication, naked, a severity of truth.

We stayed on the blustery north east coast in an eco retreat, a finca, consisting of varying sized yurts and villas. Ours was a family villa originally converted from an old water tank. The lounge housed the most ornate day bed. In fact, throughout the entire property such exquisite detail had been paid to all the decoration and furniture. There was a donkey called Molly, and well over a dozen chickens, their fresh egg yolks like baby suns.  

I didn't write. Instead, I read, flopped in the sunshine, enjoying the simplicity of words, or I spent precious time with my family, burying our feet in cool, wet sand, splashing about in the water with Little A. The temperature was perfect, like an English summer's day; it was the end of November, winter, and the time of year didn't seem real. On the afternoon of my birthday, we paid a visit to a Cactus Garden set in a circular walled enclosure. Hundreds of varieties. Aliens. Unsure of the prickles, Little A admired the various forms and shapes and colours, 'that one's furry Mummy, a silly furry cactus.'




It was an easy holiday. We woke up late, spent most mornings in our pyjamas, the odd morning scrambling a bag of essentials together for a spot of sight seeing; the Timanfaya National Park was a favourite, Little A's face pressed against the window, jaw dropped, 'WOWSERS, look at the volcanoes Mummy and Daddy, they're AMAZING.'


The afternoon's were enjoyed either on a beach - not all the sand was midnight black - or by the pool side back at the finca,Younger Dad, his teeth clenched, taught Little A how to swim in the not so solar heated water. I rediscovered the art of deep relaxation; a reflexology session and a yoga class kissed my worries away. I had forgotten, had become addicted to the tension held in every sinew and muscle. My body sighed with the release, the relief. And I remembered.

On the return flight home, I was too relaxed to care about dying.

And in the fortnight after we'd arrived home, I revived my yoga practise with gusto, and bought Little A her own mat, and DVD.


Breathe In. Breathe out...

34 comments:

  1. It sounds like you had a perfectly lovely relaxing break. Those cactuses are beautiful too! :) PS. I have a fear of flying post somewhere on my blog! ;)

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    1. It was wonderful thank you... just what the doctor ordered. Glad to be back on ground though :o). X

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  2. The cactus garden is very cool. I loved the contrast of sand against volcanic rock. Lanzarote surprised us when we went. I guess saying that flying is actually the safest way of travelling won't ease the tension any?

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    1. The cactus garden was great, one of my highlights of the holiday I think. I think Lanzarote is very underestimated - there is so much to do and see. Won't be flying for while :o).

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  3. i think id like to go with you to the 'moon place' sounds so relaxing!! x

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    1. The moon place was very moon like.... made the holiday a lot more interesting. X

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  4. Adore your description of one of my favourite holiday destinations and your photos too. Isn't Timfanaya amazing? The Blue Grotto with the albino crabs is pretty amazing too.

    SO glad you enjoyed your holidays :-)

    xx Jazzy

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    1. Thank you very much. I really like Lanzarote (out of season). There is so much to see. Timanfaya is like another world. The holiday was fab. X

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  5. Great escape from winter - very envious. What did you read? I'm in need of book ideas for Christmas holidays. Nothing like a good book to escape mentally at least.

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    1. It was... made a lovely change. I read John William's Stoner (still reading). Have the Hunger Games trilogy lined up for Christmas.

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  6. Sounds soooo relaxing and lovely, I've never been to Lanzarote but it sounds like a nice place to go. Fear of flying sounds pretty bad but I'm glad you weren't bothered on the way back. My OH has a really really mild version so I get a sweaty death grip on ascent and descent.

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    1. It was great thank you, and I can highly recommend Lanzarote as a holiday destination (out of season though). The fear wasn't as bad as it sounded - I was worrying over Little A mostly.

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  7. Oh fabulous! Sounds like it really was just the tonic. I'm so pleased x

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    1. It was great thank you. Came back home very refreshed. X

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  8. I am a terrible flyer when I have my kids with me, but fine without them! Sounds like a truly wonderful holiday xx

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    1. Me too!!! I was fretting mainly as I had Little A with me. It was a great holiday thank you. X

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  9. I could feel myself slowing down and breathing out with you as you slowed down! Lovely holiday - so glad you remembered how to relax and truly hope it's set you up to enjoy your life (inc your writing) more. Missed you. Lots of love xx

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    1. It's made such a difference now I am doing yoga every day again - I try to make sure I do some stretches and relaxation; it doesn't have to be a full work out. The holiday was wonderful and really helped to set me up for the Christmas rat run. Love to you too. X

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  10. It sounds like you had a wonderful, relaxing time and a lovely birthday. Love the picture at the top of Little A's crocs. They look so clean! x

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    1. It was a great holiday. Very relaxing and so nice to be in sunnier climes for my birthday - very cheery. I dusted the crocs before I took the picture :o). X

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  11. I'm so pleased that the return leg was a more relaxing affair and that you enjoyed your time away. I'm more relaxed on board when the boys are with me than when I fly alone - more of a 'let's go down together' rather than panicking about how we'd cope without each other. Bizarre, I know.

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    1. Yes it was, mainly because I was too tired and chilled. You are the opposite to me then, but I totally get your logic - at least you all go down together *shudders at that thought*.

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  12. Glad that your holiday inspired you to take up yoga again... and introduce Little A to it too!
    It sounds like the perfect break, must have been since you were so relaxed on the way back.
    I do love your writing and the photos are wonderful. xx

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    1. Yes it did, I've been doing some everyday since I got back and it's really making a difference. Little A loves it too. We put on her DVD (kids yoga) and do it together. Thank you lovely. X

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  13. Lovely to hear of your trip, the landscape is so alien to ours and stunning in its own way the villa you stayed in sounds interesting.

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    1. Thank you. Lanzarote is quite the contrast to the norm, that makes it very interesting. The villa was lovely.

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  14. It's alright panic over - I found words!!! What wonderful words they are too accompanied with amazing photos. It sounds like the most amazing place, I love volcanic landscapes. They're amazing. I'm glad you got time to just read and relax - sounds like a great holiday apart from the plane bit. Happy chrimbo lovely xxx

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    1. Thank you very much lovely! Out of season it's a good destination to go to - lots to see and do off the beaten track. And I came back very relaxed, in preparation for Christmas! Hope you have a lovely one too X.

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  15. Gosh, what a lovely, lovely post. It's such a treat when you pop up on Bloglovin' - it always means there's a real treat in store reading your latest, and this is no exception. I'm so glad you were able to overcome the flying nerves and have a lovely time. Isn't it funny sometimes how our kids pick up on how we're feeling and are able to provide some reassurance. A nice reminder of the two-way nature of the parenting relationship :) I do miss Little A and her chat. A clever bean just like her Mum. Hope all the Muddle Family have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Can't wait for more of your writing in 2014 xxx

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    1. Thank you very, very much my friend :o). It's funny, I never used to be nervous of flying, but since Little A came along, everything seems to terrify me; neurotic or what !? Little A always picks up on when I am worried, so I try to unworry myself as much as I can - thank heavens for yoga! Little A is currently suffering from a cold and consequently not very chatty - she's enjoying lots of TV though :o). Our Christmas and New Year will be delightfully muddled in deed! X.

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  16. That sounds like a happy ever after story! I have been saving up to read this since you wrote it, I have been waiting for a quiet moment to enjoy your moment. So reading this has been my own personal mini holiday in a sea of manic activity and I did not even need to get on a plane.

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    1. Well it was a great holiday.... I am very glad I took you on a little adventure with this post :o). The run up to Christmas has been very manic for me too!

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  17. Lovely post, very evocative. Would you not recommend in season, then? I am in school hols territory now. Sigh. Glad you had such a lovely holiday.

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    1. Thank you very much.... I reckon it'll still be okay during half terms, but really, really busy over the summer holidays....

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