Sunday, 19 January 2014

Fright Night


There are shadows in here, beside the curtains, underneath the chest of drawers.

The door is kept open a few inches more, half way, the light shining on carpet, respite from inky horrors. She's tucked in, arms around ted.

'Don't go,' she says, 'Mummy, I need you.'

I remember this. The drawers needed checking. The wardrobe, shutting tight. The door, open, safe exit from monsters, the things of fright.

'I'm sacred of the shadows,
is there a man on the roof?
Will a burglar come in?'  

I tell her, no, she is secure, hidden from harm, mummy is here, in the next room.

'Mummy?'
'Yes, darling?'
'I'm a big girl, but I'm a little girl just now, I feel sad.'
'It's okay to feel that way - sometimes mummy feels very small too, and sad, like a tiny, crying acorn.'
'I need a hug.'
'You can have the biggest one my beautiful girl.'

There is no escape, not yet, we must sing another lullaby, hold hands again, and again. I don't mind, it's what I must do.

'Mummy?'
'Yes, darling?'
'When I go away from you, my heart stops, when I see you again my heart works.'
'Mine too. But when Mummy is away, she never stops loving you. Ever.'
'I love you Mummy.'
'I love you too.'

She is sleepy, ready to turn over with ted. The shadows are forgotten, the beasties in her head.

'Goodnight Mummy.'
'Goodnight.'



56 comments:

  1. Awwww that's so so lovely. She is just as descriptive and eloquent with her words as you are. Obviously taken after her mummy ;)

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    1. Thank you very much! She blew me away when she said that her heart stops when she is away from me :o).

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  2. Aww bless her!!
    Beautifully written x

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    1. I know - my heart melted. Thank you. X

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  3. My wee man slept in the darkness until about 2 and a half and then we had to get a night light. Not checking for monsters just yet though. Some nights we get a story with daddy then a lullaby with mummy then a kiss from daddy....really beautifully written.

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    1. When they are really small, they don't seem to be that fussed about it, and then they hit an age and are so aware of the dark. And we have nights like yours too; mummy - daddy - mummy.. and, thank you.

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  4. Such beautiful writing, a little heartbreaking too. As parents we wish we could take away their fears and hurt don't we? xx

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    1. Thank you... I can feel a little helpless when she feels scared or upset about something, and yes, I wish I could take it all away. X

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  5. Gorgeous nightime routine captured beautifully.

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  6. Aww that is so sweet! Beautifully written xxx

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    1. Thank you very much. She breaks my heart! X

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  7. gorgeous. we do similar things ourselves x

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    1. Thank you... I like to know she's settled when she's finally hit the pillow. X

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  8. Oh dear love, but how blessed she is to have a mother like you. We've all been there, but if it helps I find an appropriate reward (read inappropriate bribe) for the morning works wonders when you're really tearing your hair out XXX

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    1. Thank you very much lovely BUT I do only have the one... and, oh yes! Bribery is always the way forward, I'm a very good briber, very talented... X

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  9. Oh that's beautiful. Makes me feel a little guilty though, I'm a no-nonsense bedtime routiner and I often leave The Bug chatting to his worry dolls. I ought to linger while I can - you're such a good Mum.

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    1. Thank you very much. Nothing wrong with no-nonsense at all, get's the job done, and anyway, I have the one, so I can afford the timer to indulge, if I had more, it would be an altogether different story. Thank you.

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  10. words to melt your heart! Gorgeous. Still have to close my eldest's curtains tightly for him so there are no chinks of the night xx

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    1. Thank you very much, she certainly melts mine. I even like to make sure my curtains are fully closed too! X

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  11. This captures all those feelings so well. M is at the same stage as Little A, it's in equal parts heart-wrenching and tiring! She ended up going to sleep in our bed last night and we moved her when we headed up to sleep, it's a game of diversion, smoke and mirrors for a wildly active little mind. Beautifully written Mrs xx

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    1. Thank you very much lovely! Yes, and it is very tiring too, but anything to help her feel happy and settled. I like bribery too. At this age, their little minds are so, so active! X

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  12. This is beautiful. I would always start as this patient, caring mum but 2 hours later, turn into crazy, loon mum who just wants to get some sleep! Well done you x

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    1. Thank you very much! Oh, I turn into the crazy, loon mum too :o) .... my patience only stretches so far. X

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  13. Children can be so poetic in their explanations. I love her comment about when how she's not with you her heart stops working. Just beautiful. Pip is very scared of the dark. He goes to sleep with the bedside lamp on and the landing light! EB in contrast is literally in the pitch black! Beautifully written. x

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    1. I know, and they tell it so truthfully too. Honestly, when she said that - her heart stopping - mine split in two, it both melted and broke my heart. I couldn't get to sleep with out the landing light being on either. They reach an age and the light switch - pardon the pun - comes on, and the dark is another scary, world. Thank you! X

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  14. Such a wonderful, emotive post. My son likes me to lie with him before he sleeps and I actually love that time together. He has such an active imagination which I've channeled through my creative work (and play) so am doing the same with him (although he's not earning a crust writing just yet)!

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    1. Thank you very much! That sounds lovely, and like you say, such gorgeous time together. Their imaginations are immense, shame it spills over into the dark. How cool having such a creative mum like you!

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  15. This is the most beautiful post I have read in a while - I shed a small tear... ;-) xx

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    1. Thank you so much... now I think I might shed a tear too :o). X

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  16. So beautiful. And that´s all we can do, isn´t it? Hold our children tight and let them know in the very fibre of their being that we love them and that our love is always with them, even when we are not. x

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    1. Thank you very much... and so true, hold them tight and reassure, reassure and reassure, so they will feel safe in the world in the years to come. X

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  17. Such a touching moment captured in words. I can remember being terrified of the dark at bedtime as a child. How am I ever going to teach my children not to be, when I still am sometimes?!

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    1. Thank you very much. I used to be very scared of the dark too, the door always had to be opened! But I survived, and you will be perfect when you allay your children's fears too :o).

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  18. Her heart stops, that is so sad.

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    1. I know.... it broke my heart too!

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  19. I'm always aware that the day will come soon enough when they won't turn to us for comfort or reassurance anymore; I grab every opportunity I can get to imprint my love on their consciousness in the hope it will lessen the sadness I'll feel when they no longer search for it. It's such a fine balance: needing and being needed, building their independence yet dreading losing being wanted so much. Beautiful writing.

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    1. You make such a good point and so beautifully put - one day they won't need the reassurance, instead, just the memory of all the cuddles and kind words once upon a time is all they will need, and that's how it's supposed to be. Thank you.

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  20. Aww bless her - such a wonderful moment told so beautifully Sarah. I just love the way you write, always draw me in from the outset. So many things are so scary for them at this age aren't they. POD had a scary dog in her room recently which really spooked her. Monsters she seems to be alright with - so far! I call her darling sometimes too - she's started copying and calling me "Mummy Darling"! A fabulous post, thank you so much for sharing #whatsthestory

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    1. Thank you very much *blushes*... I think it's because they know how small they are compared to the big, big world outside. Little A is weary around dogs too, especially big ones. Bless Pod saying 'Mummy Darling!' :o)

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  21. Ahhh the poor thing - Kitty went through a spell like this - we made a little dream catcher and she totally believed it would eat up any bad dreams or scary things that she insisted were in her room, worked a treat :)

    I hope this spell passes soon and just brilliant writing as always x

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    1. I know... and that's a brilliant idea, why hadn't I thought about that before, a dream catcher, of course! *puts on coat, head out to shops*. I hope it passes too, and thank you lovely. X

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  22. Love what she said about her heart... And she has a wonderful, talented Mummy. xx

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    1. I know... it totally melted mine. Thank you very much lovely. X

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  23. Beautiful post. What a sweet little girl. There is nothing more wonderful in this world than your mummy's hugs!

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    1. Thank you very much. Yes, she is - breaks my heart :o).... and, I couldn't agree more about a mummy's hug!

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  24. Lovely post as usual. My three year old just asked me if monsters ate poo crumbs! Turns out she is thinking some of hers very far away from the house so that any monsters will be tempted away. OK, not exactly as cute as … but it's the best I can do!! x

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    1. Thank you my dear! I guess monsters do eat poo crumbs - they'll eat anything... and good plan to keep them away! X

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  25. Oh, that is so beautiful! I love your daughter's words as much as yours.
    Fabulous.

    xx Jazzy

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  26. Lovely post. I remember those days wistfully - these days I'm barely allowed to set foot over the threshold of my sulky teen's bedroom!

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    1. Thank you very much! Ah yes, the teenage years, can't say I'm looking forward to that!

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  27. Oh poor little thing, but it sounds like you do a wonderful job of reassuring and helping her to reach a happy slumber.x

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    1. I know! What can you do but reassure them as much as you can.... I think I'm doing good enough. X

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