Friday, 16 October 2015

A Whisper Away


It's that time of year again, that time when you can smell droplets in the air, when the bulbs have been planted, and the soil fixes on the lines in skin, in the the heart line, and the life line, and underneath nails, dry and chipped. I feel viral. I feel tired. But I have seen a russet moon, the colour of a dog's tongue.

Summer is being covered in yellow leaves and toadstools over the lawn. Is it a toadstool or a mushroom or a fungus? I never know the difference, and the spores make my breath rasp, my chest yearn for inhaler. But it has disappeared, the heat, the longer days, and with that I'm fattening up on crumpets and cake, sausages and mash. Most things baked and fried.

I love all the colour, it's just all these damn colds.

And she, she is six weeks into year one. The stories. How so and so chased so and so. The ongoing battle of girls against boys. Who is marrying who. The grazed knees and the cut fingers. It's hard to keep up. She is happy, she has friends, and I am happy too. She is reading, she is eager to spell. When I write a letter to a friend, she must also write one too. Mummy, how do you spell birthday? Mummy, how do you spell friend? And now she has discovered a love of numbers, loves writing number sentences she says. 4+2 = 6. 15+3 = 18. I think she has her father's precise mind, he's an engineer, a lover of logic and solution. Where as I, well I'm not sure, my brain is.... I was branded unclassified in maths.

Her new thing is sewing. I draw the picture on the material, a shape, a butterfly, and she carefully eases the needle with the red thread through. Her stitches to begin with are a little erratic, set wide apart, and then she finds her flow following the pencil, finding the coordination in her hands. She prefers it to the IPad. She prefers it to Pinky Pie and Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Any clues to Summer have now faded from my face. The colour. The freckles. All gone. I look a little wan, a little waxy under the eyes. And I try pulling back the warmer days but even their memories are as pale as my skin. A holiday home - an old vicarage. An ancient town built on a hill. The harbour. The cobbled streets. The tea rooms. The back garden disappearing under lavender, under holly hocks, under fallen apples. The wonky floors and the old beams. A princess castle with a moat. A grand old house with old, old wall paper and the smell of dusty, unread books - the smell of history. Days on a beach over-turning shells, adding height to sandcastles, running from an incoming tide. A weekend spent with Granny, and an aunt in her new pub. And a few days in a forest lodge with dappled sunlight and roaming deer. The discovery that peacocks can fly and the gift of a fallen feather. A morning spent purifying in the steam of a Japanese salt bath and the eucalyptus of a Turkish Hamman... It all seems a whisper away now.    

And half term is around the corner. She has a new coat and new wellies. The zip on my coat is broken. And the winds are coming and so is the rain. One last mow of the lawn. One last pruning back of the shrubs and the clemetis overgrown.

I have my light box switched on: I am galvanising myself for shorter days...

18 comments:

  1. So funny to read about the winter coming. We had our last hurrah at the pool today. It was 29 degrees but they say it'll get colder next week. School finishes at 12 on a Friday so we went straight there with a picnic lunch and stayed till 5. It was perfect weather and great final 'good bye' tot he summer. LOL, well that's my blog post written. So lovely to hear that your daughter is loving school and settling in well. xx

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    1. 29 degrees LOL :o). How cold has it got this week , then? 21 degrees? Little A is really enjoying school at the moment, particularly spelling. It's suddenly getting a lot colder over here now, and when the clocks go back this weekend, the colder weather will really start to draw in... X

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  2. I love the imagery in this post. Beautiful. Enjoy half term xx

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  3. I can cope with the cold but hate the dark closing in around short grey days. So good to catch up and hear how well little A is doing - wonderful that she's sewing! Wish I could get mine interested in that. Smiled at the increased cake intake - can't stop eating toast. Need to stop eating toast! But it is comforting. Hope you have a lovely, relaxing Half Term xx

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    1. It won't be that long until 1st January and then we can begin to look forwards again. Apparently we are in for a white xmas this year. And yes! Little A is getting all crafty with her sewing. I can't stop eating bagels lathered with butter and jam. Have a lovely holiday too! X

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  4. I was so hoping you'd share a blog post with us! Wonderful to hear all your catch-up news, delivered in your usual wonderful style. Whatever about maths you are clearly not 'unclassified' in writing ;)
    I do hope the shorter days are kind to you. xx

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    1. Ah, thank you, but then I would get red all over my English books too - LOL. Lots of rest and good food over the coming weeks me thinks! :o). X

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  5. Ooh I feel all russety now (doubt if russety is a word). I enjoy seeing the colours change in the garden but I do hate the shorter days. Once the clocks go back, that puts the tin lid on summer once and for all.

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    1. Yes I agree, once the clocks go back that's it - time to bed down, and with lots of warming food and box sets. At least the run up to xmas (in December) is twinkly and sparkly. :o).

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  6. Lovely to have you 'back' :)

    How lovely that she enjoys sewing! That's all the buttons that fall off anything now totally sorted ;)

    I am not made for the Summer and I love this time of year and am rubbing my hands with glee for the clocks going back on Sunday. I'm a lot like a child with my fingers in my ears shouting 'LA LA LA LA LAAAA!' when I see anyone with a cold, sods law says I'll be the next one who gets it...

    Enjoy half term - both of you x

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    1. LOL, 'back.' It's a bit here and there at the moment isn't it?

      And yeah, she loves sewing and wants a sewing box/kit all of her own - well that's just made Xmas a lot easier I guess.

      I'm not surprised you love Autumn you nature lover you.... aside from all the colds etc, it is a very beautiful month although my back garden is resembling a teenagers bedroom at the moment.

      And you enjoy your half term too! X

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  7. Hello. Lovely to catch up with a glimpse into your world. Little A sounds like she is blossoming delightfully- what a sweetie. And sewing, such a valuable skill to learn and master - I wish I had! I also have a broken zip but am taking mine to the dry cleaner ( esp in the light of previous comment.) Gearing up for Halloween here - excitement is almost unbearable in my house...any attempts to compliment the decor with orange and yellow autumnal stuff have been overtaken with glow in the dark plastic toot. :0). Lots of love x

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    1. Ah! Do dry cleaners mend zips? I'll have to do the same with my coat too - I would rather not have to waste money on buying another coat. We were away for Halloween - in Majorca (and the water didn't taste like it ought ta!). Hope all is well! X

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  8. I hope the dark days and nights are not too hard on you. Is the light box helpful?
    Hope half term is going well. x

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    1. The light box is really helpful - it really does work, and I do feel much happier because of it. I have just come back from a holiday in Majorca in half term - and the sunshine there really helped too. I have always found the dive into autumn quite a difficult time of year!

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  9. Ah how did I not see this post? I so love your writing. I hope the shorter days are being kind to you. I'm not particularly a fan of winter....expect for the skiing of course! Sounds like your lovely girl is settling into year 1 very nicely. x

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    1. Hello lovely lady! I have a light box, so that helps to compensate for the shorter days, and aren't they getting short now? Are you going skiing again this winter? And my girl is loving year one! Hope you are well! X

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