Sunday, 29 June 2014

A Little Relief

It's the morning after. I'm tired. So darn tired. And the car's movement is making me more sleepy.

'...and this is the order of the day,' he continues at the wheel, 'we're going to test drive (this car) and (that car), and (this car) is brilliant and it's got (this) and (that) and (all this other stuff), and I can't wait to try (that car), it's completely electric, just like a toy...'

'Uh huh.' I look out of the car window, blinking at the sunshine. The flowers lining numerous front gardens merge forming seamless lines of colour; red and yellow, and orange and purple. I feel quite dizzy. And my head is mulling over the last 48 hours. Or I should say it can't escape immediate history. I am not very present. I am one of those merging flowers.

The memories are random and shoot like darts. Wine at 11.30 am. The Wensleydale on sticks. The straps of a new bra digging into my shoulders. The faces. The numerous hello's. But not enough time. The amazing discovery that jeggings are really rather comfortable. And the not-so-small matter of winning an award. It hasn't sunk in. I am still in shock. I remember shaking. I remember squeezing the hands of two close blogging friends. I remember saying s**t and thank you into the microphone. I remember all the hugs. I remember the celebratory curry. But most of all I remember the aftermath; sitting dazed on the end of the bed in the hotel room, responding to tweets, watching fireworks pop and sparkle and cascade through the opened window.

But one word forms at the core of my thinking. Enough. And another. Overwhelmed. And more follow, stringing themselves together like spaghetti. You've earned it. It's time to step back. You need to reassess. One of the things I enjoyed the most about Britmums Live this year was sitting outside underneath a colourful canopy of soft artificial flowers. There were flowers in wellington boots and flowers in watering cans hanging from the clear ceiling. It gave the conference a festival feel, especially with the wine and cake. And being in this space gifted me a quiet moment to reflect. I've been writing this blog for three years now. What now? Where next?

I've been forging plans. To do's for the house renovation. Lists for the summer; fun activities, the reduction of piles of admin neglected in the paperwork basket. In the months ahead, I want to read and work on my novel. I want to spot faces in puffy July clouds and water the over growing flowers. I want to spend time listening to the blackbird's charming song. But most of all I want to spend an uninterrupted summer with my daughter; it's about me and her before she begins reception this September. So I have decided to take a two month break from blogging and social media. I will probably check-in here and there, and I do intend to continue reading my favourite blogs, but I may not comment as much as I usually do (sorry). My head and heart needs this. I will be back in September with #oneweek; I fancy one last cycle, one final hurrah.

It feels a relief writing the last line of this post.

Thank you to everyone who reads Older Mum in a Muddle, and for all your lovely comments and support. Have a wonderful summer!


76 comments:

  1. Sounds like exactly what you need and deserve (although you will be missed)! Congratulations again on your win. Have a wonderful summer. xxx

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    1. I really do need it :o). Thank you very much, and I intend to make this a fab summer! X

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  2. You will be missed. A rest is as good as a change! Revive, enjoy the small moments. I expect this decision to be wonderfully positive for you. So pleased to have been in the right place at the right time! Well done again. So so pleAsed for you.

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    1. And I will miss my blog and the community too, but I really do need it :o). So far my break has been fab, and like you say, just enjoying the small moments. Thank you very much you star! :o).

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  3. *heart breaks* but *heart is still singing* from you winning your Award! You're a wonderful writer, but, more a wonderful woman and mother and I have absolute faith you will do absolutely the right thing at the right time, whatever it may be. Lots and lots of love to you xxx

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    1. Well so far I am loving the break and I know I've made the right decision - I am going to be filled with so much inspiration for blog posts by the time I come back. Big love right back at you! X.

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  4. Enjoy. (As they say over here!) And congrats again.

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    1. Thank you very much (again :o) ).

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  5. Huge congrats on the award! x

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  6. *Sniff* we will miss you, but totally understand. Huge hugs my dear. And it was a pleasure to share a post award meal with you. xx

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    1. And I will miss you and all the fab community as well, but it's been a wise decision and I'm already reaping the rewards from it. And fab to sit next to you at the post award meal - I don't remember eating very much I was so churned up! X

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  7. Go forth and enjoy your Summer. Huge congratulations on the award lovely lady. As you know I struggled with the enormity and just the whole lot-of-people-info-overload of the weekend and came back early thinking I needed a change, a break, a something. I think I've found that now and spending more time away from the computer is doing me the world of good.
    I will see you on the other side - much love x

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    1. I intend to lovely :o).... and so far it's going really well - the break is doing me the world of good too. I don't blame you for leaving early - it was very overwhelming, and I love the new direction you have taken. See you when the leaves turn golden :o). Big love back to you! X

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  8. Hugs my lovely and it's understandable. Go enjoy and have a wonderful Summer. We'll be here when you get back xx

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    1. Hugs to you too! So far I am having a lovely summer, and the break is doing me a lot of good - see you when I get back. X

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  9. Well enjoy your rest, you have certainly earned it. I hope you have a brilliant summer and look forward to reading all about it come Autumn x

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    1. Thank you..... so far I'm feeling much more relaxed, and enjoying the summer. I'm sure I'll have lots to write about come autumn. X

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  10. Oh goodness, I have a little nagging fear that you aren't coming back *sniff*. I do hope that this isn't true. I totally understand your need for a break though, I'm feeling a sense of that too as we come into the summer holidays. I have allowed myself to get sucked in to the pull of rankings and awards and I need to come back to the present - enjoy my family over the summer. I won't be able to totally pull back but I do need to shift my loyalties which have got out of kilter. Have a wonderful summer and don't be a stranger x x PS Hearty congrats once again x

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    1. No need to worry lovely - I am most definitely coming back :o), and I know I've made the right decision for a big break over the summer as so far I am feeling much more relaxed. It's very easy to get sucked into rankings and awards, but there's no harm in taking a break over August at least - many bloggers do. I hope you have a fab summer too, and no, of course I won't be a stranger! Thank you. X

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  11. You're just right! Perfect time too. Hope you have the best summer xxx

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    1. ... and so far it's been great! Hope you have a lovely summer too! X

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  12. Having a break over the summer is always inviting. I will be switching off for most of August to holiday.

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    1. I think it's the best time for a blogging break, and I think a lot of bloggers tend to switch off over August in general.

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  13. That award was so well deserved, I was really pleased for you. Enjoy your summer, my youngest starts school in September too so a summer off is definitely a good plan

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    1. Thank you very much. Such a shame I didn't see you at Britmums :o(. I hope you have a lovely summer too. I've already started buying school uniform!

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  14. Enjoy the break my lovely, have a lovely summer and we will all still be here in September! :) xx

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    1. So far it's been fab, and taking life a lot slower. Have a fab summer and see you in September! :o). X

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  15. Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah for you!! Have an amazing break - i am in the same boat with my eldest starting in September too, feels like the end of an era, well it is! x

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    1. Thank you very much.... and so far I am really enjoying the break. Reading and generally not doing that much apart from buying new school uniform! It's going to be such a big change. X

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  16. Many congratulations on your well deserved award. Enjoy your summer. x

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    1. Thank you very much! And I hope you have a lovely summer too! X

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  17. I so enjoyed spending time with you at the conference at long last and was thrilled for you that you won. :)
    Love your plans for the summer and curious about what you will do next.
    I have been looking at fluffy clouds recently too... I find they are pretty good at providing answers. :) xx

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    1. And you too lovely lady! And thank you - I was very shocked when I won :o) So far the summer break is going very well but I've been busy with house projects :o). And clouds are always good for answers. X

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  18. You make a very wise decision my love, I wish you an amazing and memorable summer with your little one before school beckons and it does change things. Mich xxx

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    1. Thank you very much lovely. And I know it's the right decision as I'm feeling so much more relaxed and it's allowing me to get on with some very important house projects. I wish you a lovely summer too. Thank you. X

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  19. You have more than earned your break! Enjoy some real time out!

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    1. Thank you very very much.... so far, it's doing me the world of good :o).

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  20. I will be thinking of you, and hope we find some little ways to keep in touch offline. Your award is VERY well deserved, as is the break. Have a wonderful summer, and I can't wait to see you back feeling refreshed and inspired and full of words in a few months xxx

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    1. And you too lovely - I hope your winter isn't too cold and before you know it, you'll be seeing spring gain :o). And thank you very much regarding the award. So far the break is doing me the world of good, and hopefully I'll be back on form come September. X

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  21. I am so happy for you! You truly deserve it and you know reading this i remembered our walk together after britmums 2012...who would've thought about this then? Huge congrats!!!

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    1. Thank you you very much lovely. And I still clearly remember our walk after Britmums that year - you were so pregnant and laden down with so many bags! Thank you very much! :o)

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  22. Huge congratulations, and admiration for you planning to take the time to step back, reassess and enjoy the summer, oh and write, now that is a very. good. thing!

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    1. Thank you very much.... and I really, really needed the break too; so far, it's going very well - lovely and relaxing and a chance to get on with some important house stuff (and a bit of writing too)!

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  23. Enjoy your break lovely lady and see you on the other side. It's good to take some time off to recharge. It's been a big year for you and your award is just a small recognition of how wonderful a writer you are - there's much more to come for you xxxx

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    1. So far it's going really well - lovely and relaxing and recharging. And thank you very much - the last six months have been pretty big, capped off by winning the award which blew me away. I hope there's more to come :o) X.

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  24. Always good to take time out if you need to, and not surprised you felt like that after Britmums. It is always a bit like a bubble even without an award! Glad to meet you at the meal.

    Enjoy the summer and time off, and good luck with the school start

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    1. And it was very nice to meet you too.... the time off is much needed - I was doubly knackered after Britmums this year. Thank you, and I hope you have a good summer too.

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  25. This award couldn't have gone to a more worthy winner (IMHO). I'm so pleased for you and at the same time I can completely understand the need to step back for a while and reassess. Enjoy the summer with little A and hopefully we can meet up on the other side. Lots of love xxx

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    1. Thank you very much my dear blogging friend. So far the stepping back is doing me the world of good, and it's giving me the chance to get some important stuff done around the home. Looking forward to seeing you very soon :o) X.

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  26. Big congratulations on the award, and what a wise decision to take a blogging break and enjoy the summer with your little one! Have a great time & see you in September :)

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    1. Thank you very much. The break was/is much needed - I'm actually getting stuff done now. It's always nice to take a break after summer - I hope you have a good one too, and see you in September! :o)

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  27. Eeep! Have a bloody brilliant Summer Sarah.Huge congratulations on your award x

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    1. Thank you very much! I hope you have a wonderful summer too! X

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  28. Well done you!!! And I bet you'll come back after your break with even more beautiful words to wow us with. Have a wonderful time - I'm at a similar point, with Austin starting reception in September, so I'm slowing down for the summer, too...

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    1. Thank you very much. After Britmums, not only was I really tired but I really didn't have much else to write about - so I want to spend the break letting new ideas for posts filter through :o). So far it's going great - I hope you have a lovely summer too, and best of luck to Austin in September! :o).

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  29. Huge congratulations again on the award Sarah, so pleased for you. I think you might have said shit more than once but who cares! Was such a great couple of days - I should have spent more time under than canopy! Great call for the summer to do lots of other things like focus on your wonderful writing. Have a lovely summer and catch up soon x

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    1. Thank you very much my dear.... yes, I said that word more than once; I was so stunned I didn't know what to say. So far the break is going very well and I'm really benefiting from it - should fire me up for the autumn. Hope you have a lovely summer too! X

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  30. Have a wonderful and restful summer. See you in September. xxx

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    1. Thank you very much..... I hope you have an okay one too; I am thinking about you with all the destruction taking place at the moment. Big hugs and love to you - and see you in September. X

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  31. Congratulations again on winning - you know I was rooting for you from the start and would have started a riot if you hadn't won! Love your writing, and looking forward to seeing it in novel form in the not too distant future. Thanks for your lovely comment on my last post. I am also taking most of the summer off. My middle one is also starting school in September - and anyway, I want a break from the blogmill ;) Have a super summer and enjoy every moment. Lots of love xxx

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    1. Thank you very much you very kind, kind lady :o). I think summer is a good time to take a break from the blogmill and so far I'm really enjoying it.... reading books and pottering about in the garden! I hope you have a lovely summer too! X

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  32. Enjoy your blog break - it sounds like you have a wonderful summer planned - and many many congratulations again!

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    1. So far it's going very well, and very relaxing. Thank you very much and I hope you have a lovely summer too!

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  33. Great post as always! I think this echoes the feelings of so many of us at this time of year. Enjoy your well earned rest lovely - and bask in the glory of your recent triumphs! I am taking a break over summer too so will catch you in September - we can weep together about the departure of our babies from the nest to another era. My oldest is staring school this autumn too. Gulp. Enjoy this summer of freedom xxx

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    1. Thank you very much! I always like a bit of down time over summer to recharge and reflect. The first six months of the year for me are always busy and come July I need a break. I hope you have a lovely summer too.... there are going to be big changes come September (I've already bought some uniform). X

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  34. I will look forward to your return. I don't read things as quickly as I used to (too much else going on) but I get there in the end! A little late to this particular party, but I wish you a summer of happiness with your little one. See you in September. xx

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    1. And how are you? I hope you have a lovely summer :o). So far the summer is going very well - lots of time outdoors with Little A. I really want to make the most of this summer with her before she starts school. X

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  35. Just discovered your blog via Roots and Toots and can really relate to your writing as a fellow older Mum. Enjoy your break and sure you will have fun with your daughter. Childhood flies by and we can nothing more important than share it with our children :-)

    (Think I just lost my comments so apologies if this a repeat!)

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    1. Hello! Thank you very much for coming over and commenting - very nice to meet you :o). And yes, I am very much looking forward to summer with my daughter. Before I know it, she'll be at school!

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  36. I am so SO thrilled for you, you award-winning blogger you!! Well done :-) Sorry my congrats are a tad tardy, I'm not online much this summer, so I get your need for time out.Enjoy :-) xxx

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    1. Thank you very much Jazzy - it was a bit of a shock to the system when my name was read out ;o). I hope you are having a fab summer - blogging breaks are very good for the soul. :o). X

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  37. I hope your break has been perfect and refreshed and focused you. Mich xx

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    1. It has been fabulous, thank you. Good to go now! X

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