Monday, 7 January 2013

100 Word Challenge - Slapped

I found Charlotte doubled over next to a grave coating humiliated snowdrops in sticky bile, thick yellow drool hanging from her pale bottom lip.

"Char, what is it? You okay?"

She placed both hands on her stomach, cautiously straightening her back.

"Chrissy, got a tissue?"

"Here. Have this."

 A chilly gust slapped my cheek as Charlotte wiped her mouth.

"Chrissy, I can't keep it in any longer, I have to go to the police."

"WHAT? You said you'd do WHAT?"

"Found it so hard to tell you Chrissy."

"Tell me what?"

"I WAS THERE when he threw himself on the tracks."

A chilly gust smacked my other cheek.


I'm linking up with JB47's 100 Word Challenge. This week's prompt was... You said you'd do WHAT? ...
This is part of a wider story. You can read the other instalments in the series here.



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23 comments:

  1. Older Single Mum7 January 2013 at 21:59

    I love it how you string your story together from these prompts. Nothing short of ingenius / genius whichever way you look at it!

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  2. Unknown7 January 2013 at 22:25

    Oh no!! She kept it in a really long time!

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  3. jfb578 January 2013 at 07:45

    This has such tension roght the way through, keeping your reader guessing. If they hadn't read the other installments, this stands well on it's own. Great writing and thank you for following the blog!

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    1. Older Mum8 January 2013 at 08:46

      Thank you very much! I really enjoy your prompts!

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  4. Miriam8 January 2013 at 09:42

    I agree. It stands well on its own. Always interesting to read the different takes on the prompt each time.

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  5. Mummy Plum8 January 2013 at 10:37

    Oooh...that Chrissy is a dark horse. She'll be saying he didn't jump next! Love the serialisation of this story against the prompts. Always v. clever. Do you know how it's going to end or are you letting the prompts guide you?

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    1. Older Mum8 January 2013 at 10:50

      I'm really glad you wrote that comment - I accidentally wrote this with the names the wrong way round - I must have been very tired - all amended!!!! I know how it's going to end but let the prompts take me there :o).

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    2. Mummy Plum8 January 2013 at 11:51

      No. I'm the tired one - I think I'm confused! Anyway, glad to have helped (or not as the case may be). I need to go back and reread. x

      Delete
  6. Han8 January 2013 at 15:08

    Ooh! Will have to have a look back and see what happened before :)

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  7. Anna8 January 2013 at 15:58

    Cleverly done; I am always impressed when the prompts are used for a series of pieces.

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  8. Dughall McCormick9 January 2013 at 20:30

    Great first sentence! Hooked me straight in!

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    1. Older Mum11 January 2013 at 11:39

      Thank you! I guess that's the effect you want!

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  9. jazzygal9 January 2013 at 21:57

    Oh, I really have to catch up on your story!it really does stand up on it's own. Very clever, well done.

    xx Jazzy

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    1. Older Mum11 January 2013 at 11:40

      Thank you Jazzy - let me know what you think of the rest! X.

      Delete
  10. Sarah Miles9 January 2013 at 22:48

    Ooh, you are so clever linking them all together! x

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  11. Susan Mann11 January 2013 at 09:54

    Very cleverly done, love how they link together x

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