This time, a winter wonderland.
White and blue.
Snowflakes on the table,
caught under shoe.
The belle of the ball,
she piles her presents high.
With friends, with family,
with Cheshire Cat smile.
The magician has a talking dog,
pulls rabbit out of hat,
grey and fluff, named Pancake,
the children squeal and pat.
Chequered paper plates, and cups.
Sandwiches, sausages, crisps,
iced rings, choc fingers; a seventies spread,
no fruit or sculptured veg.
Happy birthday is sung,
one, two, three lengthy times,
the candles blown out,
cake in green serviettes, tat in party bags.
They came again, my visual friends,
But this time far away...
Just pictures, no emotions,
a jaded silent movie, daguerreotype lens.
The midwife, the induction.
Curled over bean bag, timing deep breath,
Not enough in centimetres,
No time to stretch.
The table. The bright lights.
The knife.
Get my baby out safely.
That's all I care this night.
Out. Out. Out.
Memory be gone.
For she is here now.
Just her, is all.
Happy birthday to my baby, my sweetest, bestest friend.
If you like my writing, why not pre-order my little book, Seasons of Motherhood, launch March 2014.
Lovely poem
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteIs there no end to your talents as a writer? Such a lovely poem. Such a shame this occasion is still rather harrowing for you as well as wonderful. Happy Birthday to Little A and a massive cuddle and much love to you xxx
ReplyDelete*Blushes* That's very kind of you to say. It's not as unpleasant as it was last year, it's starting to fade. Cuddle and love received. X
DeleteThis made me sad, despite the wonderful writing. I so hope that in time the trauma of Little A's birth will fade completely and you will be able to celebrate without lingering dark shadows. Her party however, sounds fabulous. And I love the fact you didn't bow to modern day pressure and served ice rings and chocolate fingers. That's party food as it should be! Happy Bday to little A, and as Anya said, big hugs to you. xxx
ReplyDeleteI am sure in time, the trauma will fade away. It was a marked improvement this year though... just the images but no anxiety, maybe that was because I was so busy. And yes, a party should serve party food, I remember the days of the tin foil hedgehog; with cocktail sticks of fat wedges of pineapple and cheese. And thank you. X
DeleteHappy Birthday to little A and what wonderful celebrations it sounds like you had. I too feel sad that you have mixed emotions on this day but can understand. My boys birthdays bring a hint of sadness to my heart, all be it for very different reasons, but it is a difficult and exciting day all mixed into one. x
ReplyDeleteThank you.... Little A had a great birthday, and it's still a little bittersweet for me, not as bad as it has been before, just the images rolling out in the background. As you say, it's a mixed bag of feeling. X
DeleteFabulous poem Sarah, I hope she had a wonderful birthday! A book a book - how very exciting indeed! You must be over the moon Mrs. Sorry been a bit elusive, tad swamped but here :)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. She had a lovely birthday. I am self publishing the book but still very exciting. And no worries, very busy times at the moment. :o)
DeleteHappy Birthday to little A! What a lovely poem to celebrate her and I'm so glad the trauma of her birth is fading for you. And congrats on the book. I shall definitely be ordering a copy. Exciting!! x
ReplyDeleteShe had a lovely day, didn't want her party to end, and yes, the trauma is slowly starting to fade, just images here and there. And thank you re. the book! X
DeleteBeautifully written, and love the photo too. Happy birthday to Little A!
ReplyDeleteCannot wait to get your book. ;) xx
Thank you very much. She had a lovely birthday. Hopefully you won't be waiting too long. ;o) X
DeleteHow lovely.... love it. Happy birthday to your little A.
ReplyDeleteDo we ever forget how they came into this world? 14 years later and I still do! *shudder*!
xx Jazzy
Thank you. She had a wonderful day. And I think you are right, I don't think we ever completely forget. X
DeleteI am sorry about the visitors, it sounds like a scary time. Hope A had a wonderful day! And huge congratulations on the book, wonderful news! :) x
ReplyDeleteIt was okay, the memories flashed back but aren't as strong as they used to be, it was like watching a silent movie without the noise of emotions attached. And it was a lovely day. Ps. I am self publishing this little book. :o). X
DeleteHappy Birthday Little Miss A. I hope the day was good for you too Older Mum, no doubt it was with your little daughter beside you. Kimxx
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Kim! Yes, it was a really nice day for me too, but very, very tiring (as to be expected). X
DeleteThank you very much.
ReplyDelete