Monday, 23 April 2012

100 Word Challenge - News Flash

I popped my head around Charlotte's door ....

"What's up Char? Not seen you all evening."

Charlotte was slumped over her desk. Her slender fingers tightly clawed around a newspaper.

"Oh, hey, hi. Sorry, I'm locked onto something at the moment. Catch up with you in five?"

I hesitated.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Charlotte inhaled, sighed and turned towards me.

"Remember David? The guy I had that fling with two years a ago."

"Vaguely."

Charlotte looked at me in disbelief.

"He's dead. Threw himself onto the tracks."

"Shit. You're kidding?"

Charlotte gave me that look.

 "Chrissy I need time out. I'm exhausted. Shut the door behind you?"


I'm linking up with JB47's 100 Word Challenge. This week's prompt was ...

"I'm exhausted. Shut the door behind you."


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37 comments:

  1. caughtwriting24 April 2012 at 07:03

    This is GREAT! I used to do these fairly regularly but never seem to have enough time to get that creative anymore. This might give me the oomph I need.

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    1. Older Mum24 April 2012 at 08:30

      Ah thanks Polly. I just suddenly felt inspired last night.

      Delete
  2. jfb5724 April 2012 at 09:20

    Welcome to the 100WCGU. It is great to see you. You have let your reader's know that there is tension and distress there. Great writing.

    Can I be a bit picky? It is jfb57 and I don't like swearing. I do hope that won't put you off joining again. you clearly have a super talent that should be shared!

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    1. Older Mum24 April 2012 at 10:33

      Thank you and oh heck! No more naughty words next time, I apologise, I didnt realise.

      Delete
    2. jfb5724 April 2012 at 11:33

      Hee hee! No harm done.
      I run a 100 Word Challenge for Children and sometimes they like to read what the grown ups are doing.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous24 April 2012 at 12:46

    Very well written! I had to go back to see what that word was. Then I checked mine to make sure I hadn't erred too. ~Miriam

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    1. Older Mum24 April 2012 at 15:33

      Thank you! Won't be making the same mistake next time. I got carried away in the dialogue.

      Delete
  4. Julie Goucher24 April 2012 at 14:25

    A nice piece. You can feel the tension.

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  5. Anonymous24 April 2012 at 15:18

    Friendships sometimes pick up on those pieces of us that others don't...history and concern are well conveyed...thanks for sharing. :)

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  6. Anonymous24 April 2012 at 15:40

    Glad you've come to join us with the 100WC. I really enjoyed this - it had just the right amount of tension and emotion. Look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.

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    1. Older Mum24 April 2012 at 15:55

      Thank you. I was a little nervous at first and then bit the bullet. Some of the challenges are pretty tricky!

      Delete
  7. Unknown24 April 2012 at 16:53

    I could sense the tension in the room, good piece!

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    1. Older Mum24 April 2012 at 17:11

      Thank you! And for coming over and commenting.

      Delete
  8. Unknown24 April 2012 at 18:29

    Excellent piece. Love the way you built the tension.

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  9. Rachel Selby24 April 2012 at 19:49

    I came looking for inspiration as I've not done the 100WCGU for ages. Great piece - very raw.

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    1. Older Mum25 April 2012 at 14:37

      Ah, that's really sweet of you. Thank you.

      Delete
  10. Anonymous24 April 2012 at 22:03

    Oh my what a shock! well done,a really good use of the prompt!

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    Replies
    1. Older Mum25 April 2012 at 14:38

      Thank you! I got all inspired the other evening ...

      Delete
  11. Anonymous25 April 2012 at 11:58

    Charlotte still feels for him, I think ... great how you got some drama out of a really mundane prompt. But that's what Julia is hoping, she's not daft!

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    1. Older Mum25 April 2012 at 14:38

      Yes, I think so too - I might have to continue this story!

      Delete
    2. Lynsey Summers25 April 2012 at 15:50

      PLEASE continue the story! I was hooked just on this first 100 words!

      Delete
    3. Older Mum25 April 2012 at 16:10

      I think I might have to!

      Delete
  12. Anonymous25 April 2012 at 14:49

    Great story! Very vivid. I love these 100-word stories that are mostly dialogue. They come so alive. Really enjoyed it!

    Jean Mishra... MoonLightened Way on Wordpress

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    Replies
    1. Older Mum25 April 2012 at 15:33

      Thank you! I am so glad that so much came across in so few words.

      Delete
  13. Susan Mann25 April 2012 at 16:40

    What a great piece. Loved it. I must do mine. x

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  14. Michelle Reeves - Bod for tea26 April 2012 at 07:03

    Oh wow! A whole world and beyond in 100 words. I want more!

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    Replies
    1. Older Mum26 April 2012 at 09:22

      Thankyou. I just read yours - it was great. Planning to let this one run ...

      Delete
  15. Sandra Crook26 April 2012 at 07:34

    Very good, you created a great atmosphere with this piece. Look forward to reading more from you.

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  16. Mummy Plum26 April 2012 at 14:23

    Great writing. (Could not help but be left thinking..I hope this is 100% fiction. Would be awful to experience that situation in real life.)
    Did you find it difficult to stick to 100 words? I think I would find it very hard!

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    1. Older Mum26 April 2012 at 21:08

      Hello! Thank you! To reassure you it was 100% fiction. Yes, I had to edit it down. It was tricky striking the balance.

      Delete
  17. Anonymous29 April 2012 at 17:05

    A lot of story in just 100 words.
    I really enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete

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