I haven't touched a conker or turned my face towards the wind.
I haven't baked a crumble or remarked on how the nights are drawing in.
I have forgotten the richest and most dishevelled of seasons.
Paid little attention to fallen leaf and heavy cloud.
But have written under light of bureau lamp.
Have sat at table, helped her read first words.
Have planted pansies in pots, verdant heather in borders.
Have had silver birch cut back, harvested tomatoes.
Have visited showrooms, poured through kitchen catalogues.
Have wheezed with asthma, upgraded inhaler.
Have made new friends at school date, kept in touch with old.
Have forgotten hair dye, bought her new clothes.
Have felt lost, bereft, adjusting to new routines.
Have worried and worried about this here blog.
Have lacked the inspiration, ideas for posts...
...like a gust of air released a kite from handheld grasp,
and earth under foot turned to mud.
Maybe I am unknowingly taking stock?
Maybe I have run out of stories?
Maybe I need a different approach?
Or maybe I simply need to devote my time to where my energy now flows?
Sounds like a lot of adjusting has been happening. Sometimes my life energy has trumped the blog and for me that is very ok. Depends I guess what you need the blog for. If you stop I might have to hound you down though as I love reading your posts however often you feel the need to write them :) I missed the last one week as I was in the throws of horrible morning sickness, trying to settle into life here in Sheffield. Gives me plenty to write about for autumn though.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have a lot going on at the moment.... and of course, we now have the Christmas run :o). I will be back in December - I am taking November off to concentrate on my novel. I can imagine that a move is very good for blog material. I moved nearly two years ago and that gave me so much to write about.... next year we have a big renovation project on our home, and then they'll be tonnes for me to write about. I hope you are settling well into your new home and your pregnancy is going well! :o).
DeleteEach and every post of yours is treasured by you and your dear readers. You've never forced stuff before and you have a new life in your house, your writing and Little A off to school. Your soul is catching up and will lead you on. We will follow. Beautiful pics and words, as always :)) X
ReplyDeleteThank you very much my dear friend..... I love your words; your soul is catching up. Something is going on certainly! I am actually focused on Nanowrimo at the moment - I guess there is only so much you can do! :o) X.
DeleteDon't every worry about your blog - surely it sits here just waiting for you to return when the mood takes you? Seasons are funny things and they're not just about changing leaves - this post captures the essence of a new one for you. x
ReplyDeleteYou are very right - it's here when I need it :o). There is certainly something else afoot at the moment; I am preparing for a big renovation project on our home next year, and my novel has taken up all my steam! X
DeleteThere's a lot of stuff on your to do list right now - it sounds like you are stretched to full capacity with Little A starting school, the novel and the forthcoming house project. It's only natural that something has to 'give' a little - and I know this last year with limited mental head space myself, I found that blog inspiration and ideas have been less free flowing too. It will come back, I'm sure - when there's head space and time for it! Devoting your time to where the energy flows feels like the right call to me. Go with the flow for a while and see where it takes you. x
ReplyDeleteTell me about it.... all my energies are thrust into the novel writing at the moment, but it's the right thing to do and I'm making good progress. The house project is a huge thing too - we are at the stage where we are about to get the builders in for quotes now, and once we have a date set, it will be full steam ahead! X
DeleteIt's the beauty of blogging isn't it - it's here when you want it and will wait for you when you're busy - and it sounds like real life is very full and wonderful right now :)
ReplyDeleteActually you make a very good point - real life is wonderful at the moment; it's packed full of activity, but it is a lot of fun. :o).
Deletesorry you've had an unsettled time, and really hope things fall into place soon. Quite sure they will. Though know what you mean about holding onto autumn's coat-tails - all whizzing by so fast, and with that comes those frustrations of not getting enough stuff done. As for blogging, well, I don't know about you, but definitely had more ideas when when I blogged more…one post sparked another, sort of thing… different now! Think I've come to terms with that though. Whatever you decide will be right xx
ReplyDeleteIt has been a little unsettled but things falling into place now. You are right about one blog post sparking another - that has certainly been a case for me; at the moment all my energies are going into my novel - so much so that I have time for blog posts! X
DeleteYou should definitely devote more time to where your energy flows... Even if it means that we will miss you because you are writing less on this blog! ;) Beautiful post. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you very much - I'm solely focused on the novel at the moment and it's taking up all of my energies. Hoping to blog again in December. X
DeleteHey lovely, I've read this post a few times now, not quite sure what to say. Until I do I'll just say 'hello' and 'it's lovely to be reading you' and 'I hope you are ok' x
ReplyDeleteI'm okay lovely..... I mainly have my head down writing the novel this month and getting ready for the big home renovation - it taking up all my energies! X
DeleteI've just found you so hope you don't lose your blogging energy for too long. Having said that, I always appreciate writers who write when the muse takes them, rather than having to keep up with some forced two or three times a week regime.
ReplyDeleteGo with the flow and let's hope you feel less unsettled.
I'll be back soon - I have my head down writing my novel at the moment, and all my energies seem to be focused there, so much so, I have no ideas for blog posts!
DeleteThere is no way in the world you have run out of stories but yes direct yourself where you feel compelled to be, good idea. Take care sweetie Mich xx
ReplyDelete.....I probably have loads more stories to tell, but at the moment I only seem to be able to focus on the main one - my novel. Hopefully I'll be back in December! X
DeleteI hope you find routine soon again but it does sound like you're building up lovely memories to eventually give you the inspiration you need. You are an awesome writer and it will come. xx
ReplyDeleteI seem to be completely buried in my other writing at the moment with little time for anything else. Thank you very much - I hope to be back next month! X
DeleteWhat a beautiful piece. We are lucky to have you on the blog when you want to post - and you shouldn't feel it as a pressure. It sounds like you are expressing your energy in many other (dare I say it, more) important ways. Go with it. You won't lose us. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you very much - hopefully I'll be back in December. I've been working hard on my novel, though not so much this week - I've got a rubbish head cold. Going with it is always the best way! X
DeleteThis is beautifully written, and if something isn't flowing, I don't think you should force it. This Autumn HAS been a strange one, it's true. I even forgot to make any chutney!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to make chutney! :o). Thank you - I'm trying to get lots of my other writing done but hoping to make a reappearance in December!
DeleteDon't worry about this here blog, it will still be here when you are ready for it. It's your space after all, you don't need to post something every day, every week or even every year if you don't want to! :) Gorgeous writing as per usual! xx
ReplyDeleteThank you very much..... I guess I can't help fretting - I love my blog and I love being a part of the whole community, but sometimes other things have to take priority. X
DeletePeople will always pop by here to see if you have posted, as they love your blog. We can wait. Life gets in the way sometimes. That is fine. Go do what you need to do x
ReplyDeleteThat's very kind! This week I have done nothing - I have had one virus after the other..... it's that time of the year. X
DeleteDon't have worries at all about your blog, we all support you here! And you know, the less you get obsessed about inspiration, the faster it comes back to you :)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! And very wise words spoken - I'm going to take it easy and let the words float home! :o).
DeleteLove, love, love this! How often we all feel this way, how seldom we take time to actually acknowledge it...I've been here, I know this feeling, and I know that it won't always remain. I would say revel in it, enjoy the inactivity, the confusion, the strongest feeling of directionless (that's how I feel), because this too shall pass and you'll be filled with a 'plan' again. The darkest hour is often before dawn :) Loved reading you, as always! x
ReplyDeleteThank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you are so very right - if it's not working don't force it. I will probably stop everything mid December for a well earned break. 'The darkest hour is often before dawn' - I love this saying! X
DeleteHow beautiful. You certainly haven't lost your words! I think it's in the air, this blog-worry and lost mojos...I'm certainly feeling it here too. And I'm living on my inhaler this week also :-) xx
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. I've been working on my novel and now we are coming to the end of the year, I think it's time for another rest.... I've been using my inhalers all this autumn - they have made a big difference! X.
DeleteHappy Birthday!!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you - that's very well remembered! X
DeleteI know how it is - trying to write your novel and tend to your blog. Somehow the two compete against each other. I am always more productive with the novel-writing when I force myself to put the blog down for a few weeks, but then I start to get anxious about letting the blog unravel. Lovely piece of freeform poetry.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this! I found myself nodding to every point you made. Unfortunately the novel and blog can't compete.I too have found the most productive way forward is to focus on the 'serious writing' and blog occasionally on a set day.
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