Friday, 4 May 2012

We're Going On A Bra Hunt

This post was inspired by ...

1. Today's adventure to the Big Brassiere Shop (details to follow).
2. Michael Rosen's and Helen Oxenbury's brilliant We're Going On a Bear Hunt.
3. Bibsey's very witty rendition of the same story.


We're Going On A Bra Hunt

We're going to the bra shop
We're going to buy a big one
What a beautiful H cup
Am I still that big?

Uh-oh! The 607!
A great big double decker with a bad tempered driver.
We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.

Oh no!
We have to get on it.

Excuse Me!
Excuse Me!
Excuse Me!

We're going on a bra hunt
We're going to buy a big one
What a beautiful H cup
Am I still that big?

Uh-oh! The big bra shop!
A jungle of gargantuan booby holders with pert chested, petite assistants

We can't go over it.
We can't go under it.

Oh no!
We have to get measured.

Blush Flush
Blush Flush
Blush Flush

WHATS THAT?

Two mile wide straps!
Two colossal cups!

ITS A GIGANTIC BRA!

Quick! Back through the jungle of gargantuan booby holders ! Blush Flush! Blush Flush!
Back on the double decker! Excuse Me! Excuse Me!
Get back home. Open front door. Big brassiere brochure on the mat. Run upstairs.

Oh no!

I forgot the brochure.
Run downstairs. Pick it up.
Back upstairs. Sit at the table.
Have some rescue remedy. Make a cuppa.
Turn the laptop on. Order on line .

I'M NOT GOING TO THE BRA SHOP AGAIN.


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20 comments:

  1. Older Single Mum4 May 2012 at 21:26

    Brilliant X

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bibsey Mama4 May 2012 at 21:50

    And that's a Brilliant from me too! I tend to feel like that about ANY type of clothes shopping now. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum6 May 2012 at 08:14

      I tend to dread any form of clothes shopping these days!

      Delete
  3. Plum4 May 2012 at 22:16

    Very clever and very funny. Am I allowed to say that I'm slightly jealous? They suggested 'airbags' for mine when I got measured after Pip. I am like an ironing board.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum6 May 2012 at 08:19

      Airbags?! I'd gladly give you some of mine ... its no fun being big chested. I'd love to be smaller.

      Delete
  4. Susan Mann4 May 2012 at 22:32

    lol love it. Sounds like when I go. I hate shopping especially for bras. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum6 May 2012 at 08:20

      Yes! Bra shopping can be very tricky indeed!

      Delete
  5. Misha - TheBlingBuoy4 May 2012 at 22:55

    Ha! That is very cleverly written. And sadly, I can relate.

    Thank goodness for rescue remedy and a strong cuppa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum6 May 2012 at 08:21

      Rescue remedy does work. I can recommend for the perils of bra shopping!

      Delete
  6. Unknown5 May 2012 at 08:29

    Brilliant! Brilliant! BRILLIANT! Loved it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum6 May 2012 at 08:22

      Thank you SFTM!

      Delete
    2. Unknown6 May 2012 at 10:55

      ha ha! I just googled SFTM thinking it was a new trendy acronym I needed to know about. I need to work on my google ranking as it didn't come up with me! What a divvy?

      Delete
    3. Older Mum7 May 2012 at 09:03

      Very funny!

      Delete
  7. caughtwriting5 May 2012 at 18:58

    Brilliant post, loved it. I can completely understand! I do mine on line too, now. Those places are WAY too scarey. Px

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum6 May 2012 at 08:25

      Thank you Polly! I don't like clothes shopping in general. Usually leaves me feeling pretty rubbish.

      Delete
  8. claire hatcher29 May 2012 at 04:08

    Totally aggree! Would rather buy a bra online, even if it doesn't fit...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum30 May 2012 at 20:45

      As soon as I've had a refit in the shop and I know my new size, I then buy them online!

      Delete
  9. New Mum Online6 February 2013 at 16:42

    I want to swear.
    FUCKING brilliant xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Older Mum6 February 2013 at 21:02

      Thank you for swearing! So glad you enjoyed it :o). X.

      Delete

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