Winter.... I'm not so sure.
The dark. The cold. The emptiness.
No bird song.
Just silence.
But then...
The outlines. The silhouettes. The mystery.
The honesty. The reassurance. The solidity.
Raw, frozen earth.
Stripped away. Bare.
A love letter to the underworld.
A hug with death.
Little A asks, "what does passed away mean?"
A neighbour has just informed us about the departure of the old boy two doors down.
He was 92. Taken by hypothermia.
Known to all on our street. Full of stories and history.
Independent until the winter claimed him.
"It means he's stopped working. There's another word for it - to die...
when we get very, very old, we die, we stop working."
"Will you stop working?"
"One day when I'm very old."
"Will I stop working?"
"One day when you are very, very, very old."
"I don't want to stop working mummy."
"I know darling, I know."
This was not a conversation I wanted to have on the way to nursery.
I wasn't ready.
But Little A was. She accepted it, as children do.
Winter forces the truth.
We cannot deny it.
This is the second day of the seasonal linky One Week. Over the next few days (until Friday) I'll be posting a photograph(s) and a few words that diarises and distills my experience of winter '13. Take a peep at the details here. You can join in for one, two ... or the full five days. And don't forget to add #oneweek on Twitter, and comment on each others posts...
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<a href="http://older-mum.blogspot.co.uk/p/one-week.html" title="One Week"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8436/7807711152_5f912c7903_m.jpg" width="225" height="169" alt="one week" /></a>
Stunning photos. So sorry for your loss. Beautifully written as always. Love this series - it just gets better XX
ReplyDeleteThank you! It's okay .... we didn't really know him - but it's still sad when it happens! X
DeleteThat's a hard conversation to have with a little one but you're right. They do accept things so quickly and very matter of fact-ly. Sorry to hear about your neighbour. Winter has a way of claiming some of the best doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt was pretty tricky and first thing in the morning. It was sad - and so true about the cold claiming the best!
DeleteI love it Sarah, it is bare, naked truth. Slightly chilling in a totally complimentary way, the photographs really fit with your words
ReplyDeleteThank you! I was very pleased with the way these photos fitted around the words too!
DeleteWhat a stunning poem! Sadly Pickle has been surrounded by too much death and is very accepting of it.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am sorry to hear that regarding Pickle but then maybe not such a bad thing - something she is used to and accepted as part of life?
DeleteA terrible subject beautifuly written. My daughter tells me she doesn't want to grow old. She doesn't want to leave me. I tell her wait till the teenage years, things will change. But I savour it now. x
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! Little A is like that too - she wants me to be here forever - and I remember being the same with my parents! Love what you said about the teenage years! X.
DeleteWe've had a few of those conversations recently, too, and about the start of the life cycle :-) He's only five! But as you say, he's ready, even if I'm not.
ReplyDeleteOh - the start of the life cycle - tricky isn't it - we have to match our words to their age!
Deletelovely. i love reading your posts
ReplyDeleteThank you lovely! X.
DeleteJust beautiful - the words and the pictures. Winter's a strange time. Sad but beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you - yes, it is quite odd, and especially at the moment, the way the weather is wavering.
DeleteThat has completely floored me. beautifully written and so poetic. I went to a funeral in winter and watched a Mother say goodbye to her son (age 56) and wept. I tried to explain to my children why their favourite neighbour Nick wouldn't be around anymore and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I wasn't ready, but I know his mother wasn't either.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. That must have been very upsetting to witness - when a parent grieves for a child - it's not the order of things, very traumatic. It's such a tricky subject to talk about with children.
Deletebeautiful. i can hear the music over these words, like its a sequence in a film. lovely in such a sad way x
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. What was the music you had in mind? Winter is bitter sweet. X.
DeleteI think you handled it really well. It's not a conversation I was ready for when we had to have it, but children seem to be more accepting of it, I suppose because it is really hard to imagine someone simply being gone.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, and I think you are right - I think it is hard for children to imagine someone being gone.
DeleteWhat a beautiful, sad, important question to answer. Sometimes we don't hear the question. Lovely photos too. A great linky x.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! And you are so very right - a very profound and important question to answer, one with honesty and gentleness. X.
DeleteBeautiful and melancholy. So apt for the season.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a conversation for early in the morning.
Thank you. One of the most surreal conversations I've had first thing in the morning!
Deletelove the way you were able to talk openly, truthfully and naturally - even though you weren't prepared for it - thanks for your lovely and encouraging comments on my posts too. I love the photo of the bird. Thanks for hosting this - it is good to be stretched to write.
ReplyDeleteThank you - it was quite tricky - I had to really think on my feet. No problem - your post was lovely today!
DeleteWhen you put it that way, winter does have a purpose... And we have a lot to learn from our children. xx
ReplyDeleteIt certainly does :o). And I couldn't agree more - the way they accept things.... X.
DeleteI think 'stopping working' is such a gentle way of putting it,especially given the difficult nature of the subject. Sometimes it is very hard to think on one's feet in such situations and I think you gave a very good answer.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me think of the time Pip was in the garden and said; 'Mummy, can you come over here and help me put the wings back on this ladybird please?'. The wings that 5 minutes previously had been..attached. I was about to let rip when Husband pointed out, he had no idea he'd killed it. Difficult indeed, then it seemed mean to upset him. Parenting - never easy.
I agree wholeheartedly with the wonderful compliments about this post, such powerful prose, and the photographs capture the mood perfectly too.
Thank you for your lovely thoughtful comment MP! It was quite tricky at the time, especially as I still felt half asleep, but maybe that helped to not over think the situation. I had a very similar incident with Little A and a squashed green fly - that's how the concept of 'not working' originally came about. Like you, I forget the limitations of Little A's understanding. And Thank you. :o).
Deletebeautiful.
ReplyDeletewhen my mum died and I told my son, then 4, he said "oh that's sad" very genuinely and then just carried on, as he was. He's right, death is sad but you carry on, it's one part of life.
Thank you! There are no complications with children - they really do see it for what it is...
DeleteWhat a difficult topic to first encounter with your child...but they do take it in their strides and always best that they understand things properly. Beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteThank you :o). And you are right - so important they understand things properly!
DeleteSo beautiful. Wonderful how accepting children are. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you! My pleasure!
Delete